I Will Consider Myself a Success When...

I have worked steadily since I was 16, either parttime, all through high school and college, or fulltime when I was going to school at night. I liked working. I liked all my jobs (sales, marketing, National Park Service Ranger, sailing instructor) except the summer I worked in a camp kitchen. I learned something from every job (even the hot, miserable kitchen job) and I made friends at them all. And, yet, I have never considered myself a successful, career woman.

My mother was a dynamo, networking around the globe. I still meet her former students who say she changed their lives. My daughter, my daughter-in-law and my sister have doctorate degrees in fields they chose decades ago. They are (were) all career women. But, I gave up working fulltime as soon as our son was born. I’ve been a part-timer for most of my life. And, for some reason, I always thought that this made me less worthy.

Don’t misunderstand. I know it was a huge privilege to be a stay-at-home parent. I could work from home (even before the internet) while the kids napped and visit my clients while the kids were in preschool. I wore multiple hats. Who doesn’t? Still, I never considered the “mother” hat to be the one that could define success. I was wrong.

Being a successful parent (stay-at-home or with help) is being a success. It’s the only universal job that never, ever ends. You are always on call, always on duty. And, if you’ve done it right, your children will need you at random hours with random requests. They will ask your advice. They will share their highlights and lowlights with you. They won’t copy everything you did as a parent. They’ll find their own way because you helped raise adults.

Don’t sell yourself short. If you did “it” right (it being work, family, parenthood, friendship), then you are a success.